The Peeps Ascendancy

The ever-provocative Bitch, Ph.D. has posted on yet another controversial subject: Peeps.

I, for one, welcome our new Peeps overlords.

In fact, at my recent pseudo-dissertation defense, the refreshments included wine, Easy-Cheese-and-Triscuits crudités, and Peeps. This wasn't, initially, my idea, but I can't say that I didn't agree to co-organizer Morgan's proposal with some glee. You see, Morgan knows well my tendency toward what someone once called "a cardboard palate and a cast-iron stomach." Bless her.

Honestly, Peeps are marvelous. And the ranks of Peeps "festishists," as the New York Times article calls us, are swelling--much like a Peep heated in a microwave or toaster oven.

Click here to find punkasspunk's "Peep destruction" website, featuring the marvels of Peep jousting. I must add, of course, that Mr. Punk seems to be going about it in a rather unorthodox way by piercing his combatants with the toothpick lance. Witness the Wikipedia article, which describes the process thus:

One takes two Peeps, and licks the right-hand side of each until sticky. A toothpick is thereby adhered to each Peep, pointing forward like a jousting lance. The Peeps are then set in a microwave, squared off against one another, and heated up. As they expand, the toothpick lances thrust toward each opponent, and the winner is the one that does not pop and deflate. Ties (both fatal and harmless) are common. Both usually are eaten after the competition, however, regardless who the victor was, calling into question the nature of "winning" in such a circumstance.

It is my personal ambition to one day hold a Peeps jousting tournament, complete with appropriate music in the form of fanfares--or at least Queen's "We Will Rock You," a la A Knight's Tale.

You may also wish to visit geekbabe's marvelously comprehensive Big List of Peeps Links, which features many marvels, including the Lord of the Peeps, which is not to be missed.

And, of course, one ought not to neglect the official website, which features graphics so hallucinogenic they give the Teletubbies a run for their money, and where you may register to join the fan club!

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UPDATE: Easter turdurken! Okay, really, that's kinda, uh, "ewww." Even for me.