Ancrene Wiseass

A would-be medievalist holds forth on academia, teaching, gender politics, blogging, pop culture, critters, and whatever else comes her way.

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Yes, this really is yet another blog by a disillusioned grad student. I sympathize, but that's just the way it has to be. For hints as to what my bizarre alias means, click here and here and, if needed, here and here. To get a sense of what I'm up to, feel free to check out the sections called "Toward a Wiseass Creed" and "Showings: Some Introductory Wiseassery" in my main blog's left-hand sidebar. Please be aware that spamming, harassing, or otherwise obnoxious comments will be deleted and traced.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

I am totally wiped out

Post-teaching, post-errand-running, post-office-houring, post-emailing, post-archiving, I am so tired that I am not even capable of deciding whether I should take a nap in the grad lounge or force myself to walk the seemingly interminable distance to the bus and then the seemingly interminable distance from the bus stop to my apartment. I suspect I'll end up hoofing it, just because I don't trust myself not to sack out for about the next three hours and wake up when it's already dark outside, without coming one iota closer to having finished my grading.

I am so tired that I can't even manage to type very well: the neurons are just not firing fast enough for my fingers to get the messages from my brain in time, so I'm having to correct a truly insane number of errors in everything I type. Furthermore, I have achieved that level of exhaustion in which one becomes suddenly convinced that having thought things were going right in her life may have been somewhat delusional; that perhaps she is tempting fate to be pleased with much of anything. Fortunately, I have not yet achieved the level of exhaustion in which I am unaware that this feeling is, itself, delusional. But hey: Give it a few hours, and I'll probably get there.

Is this a good state of mind in which to be giving students grades? Um, no. I think not. And yet, it would appear that it's necessary.

Suddenly, I recall that I tended to go home and sleep for three or four hours most afternoons after teaching for the Nameless Summer Program and before re-awakening for a few hours to make dinner and lesson plans. I really wonder how I'm going to get through this summer, seeing as how I now have an afternoon job which will keep me from taking the nap.

I think I mentioned something a while back about having bitten off more than was chewable this summer?

Okay. I think I will need to head home and have a shower and some tea and hope that gives me enough of a second (or, more properly, third, fourth, or fifth) wind to at least finish grading the exams that remain to me, if not the essays.