Random Bullets of Crap: Because I Just Need to Download Some of This

There is A Lot of Stuff going on right now.

• Mom is in town, and we are doing things that need to be done. One of which was getting me a haircut. So I no longer look like somebody whose hair hadn't been cut in three months and had gotten a ringed effect from differently faded dyes. Seriously, it was so bad, I imagine a botanist could have told you in which year there'd been a drought, just by looking at my hair.
• This is good, since the Zoo is coming up, and I'd rather not look horrible at my Medieval Conference Debut. I have not yet revised my paper for presentation. I cannot tell you how many other things I have not yet done to prepare for the Zoo. Because, if I told you, it would make my head hurt more than it does already.
• Master Fuzzy Slippers gave me the day off from working off my tuition to hang out with Mom. Master Fuzzy Slippers really is a good sort of person.
• I have been able to order my sparring gear, at last. That shit costs a lot of money, folks.
• The exam and associated trauma seem to have turned parts of my mind into a tabula rasa. I can remember almost nothing I learned at the dojang before this past Tuesday. Seriously: every time I go in to train, I feel as though I've suffered some kind of brain damage. And, indeed, perhaps I have.
• On the other hand, we've started doing some real grappling in class, and I kinda love it. I rolled a fitter, stronger, heavier partner twice and felt stupidly pleased with myself.
• Paleography is driving me mad for any number of reasons. Honestly, I love the material, but there are some weird dynamics there that aren't so good. Sigh. Sometimes grad seminars just become so bizarre.
• I think I am going to have to fire Dr. Ms. Suffice it to say that she's just not helping me and she's costing me a lot of money. Anybody who has tips for firing therapists, please feel free to weigh in.
• I have two students who've had massive personal crises of one kind or another and who've missed an entire week of classes. I am sympathetic--I truly am. And yet, what can I say, other than that I'm very sorry, that I am happy to listen to them if they want me to, that I can direct them to helpful resources on campus, but that they still have to show up to class and turn assignments in at some point in order to get decent grades?
• I have so much work to do this weekend that it literally can't be done. It makes my head hurt.
• Suddenly, it's all bright and summery in Big City. Sigh. I was not made for hot weather. It makes my head hurt and my skin prickle.
• Much better news is that I am the departmental candidate for another University-wide award.
• Word on the street is that we should hear news about a fellowship I applied for this Monday.
• I have no idea how I'm going to support myself through the first three months of the summer.
• After months of silence, Stan has re-surfaced to say that he has finally mailed me the things I left with him and which he promised to send or bring to me in May of 2004--and to say that he realizes he is an "inexcusable" asshole. Stan's sackcloth-and-ashes routine over serial recognitions of his assholery--following his decision to jilt me via an international phone connection last May--have only helped him to become The Ex Second Most Likely to Make Me Question My Sanity for Ever Having Been With Him in the First Place. And folks, first prize goes to my ex-husband, to whom I dedicated a deeply ironic karaoke rendition of "Stand By Your Man," and who served me with divorce papers during exam week in order to save money on his tax return. So you know being in second place ain't no little thing.
• The women at the salon today looked at me agape when, in response to their woeful cries about how hard it was "to deal with men" and their questions about my own relationship status, I simply said I'd given up on the whole thing altogether; that I refused to pursue relationships and also refused to worry about them any more, because I'd done enough worrying about them already. Apparently, escape is not supposed to be an option in the world of Hair Salon Heteronormativity.