Essay grading, Zork style
>search for commas
Where do you want to search for the commas?
>search for commas around subordinate clauses
Surely you jest.
>search for commas prefacing speech
You spy a clutch of young semi-colons here, looking slightly confused.
You have the clutch of young semi-colons.
>throw semi-colons in direction of my own writing
I don't think you need any more of those, young lady.
>but I'm a Victorianist!
That's no excuse.
Thanks to Juniperus for the link.