Essay grading, Zork style

First we had Scott's Disadventure about writing dissertations. Now we have Eye of a Cat's take on grading the final student essays of the quarter.

>search for commas
Where do you want to search for the commas?

>search for commas around subordinate clauses
Surely you jest.

>search for commas prefacing speech
You spy a clutch of young semi-colons here, looking slightly confused.

>get semi-colons
You have the clutch of young semi-colons.

>throw semi-colons in direction of my own writing
I don't think you need any more of those, young lady.

>but I'm a Victorianist!
That's no excuse.

Thanks to Juniperus for the link.