Ancrene Wiseass

A would-be medievalist holds forth on academia, teaching, gender politics, blogging, pop culture, critters, and whatever else comes her way.

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Yes, this really is yet another blog by a disillusioned grad student. I sympathize, but that's just the way it has to be. For hints as to what my bizarre alias means, click here and here and, if needed, here and here. To get a sense of what I'm up to, feel free to check out the sections called "Toward a Wiseass Creed" and "Showings: Some Introductory Wiseassery" in my main blog's left-hand sidebar. Please be aware that spamming, harassing, or otherwise obnoxious comments will be deleted and traced.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Twenty assorted items, some of which help to explain why this blog kinda sucks right now

The World of Wiseass is topsy-turvy these days. I'm worn out and emotionally rollercoastered, and there's just a whole lot going on that I really don't even know how to write about or process or deal with. Some of that stuff appears below. Other things also appear below. None of this is in any particular order. Which is fitting, since my brain, my apartment, and my life aren't, either.

1. Wonder Woman's tumor is, after all, malignant.
2. The uncle who went into hospice care has passed away. I wasn't especially close to him, but I'd have liked to be there to say goodbye or at least attend the funeral, anyway. It gets harder every year to be so far from home.
3. Geek Boy and I are no longer a couple.
4. Left to my own devices, I will sleep for 14 hours at a stretch, every day--and still feel exhausted when I wake up.
5. I am still not done with the Bibliography That Will Not Die.
6. Kindly Prof is being very kindly and has complimented me profusely on my teaching, but is also getting just the teeniest possible bit impatient with me. Which is nothing to how I already feel about me, but is somehow managing to magnify my own impatience and self-loathing about a thousand-fold.
7. Several of my students are taking their inevitable end-of-the-quarter angst out on me. This is also inevitable, I suppose, but I'm so worn out I can hardly muster enough righteous indignation to call them on it.
8. I just finished teaching the last class of the term, but still have well over 75% of the grading for the course left to do during the next two weeks.
9. Weirdness is still afoot in the wacky world of student government.
10. I am back to losing things again. (I almost typed "I am losing my shit again," then realized that implied something rather different than I meant, then realized that maybe was actually more "what I meant" than what I'd thought I meant, and decided to include it in self-indulgent, self-referential parentheses instead. Ha.) For example, I lost--and then found again, thank Heaven--my planner, which also included my phone/address book and my passport.
11. There are now more than 100 unanswered emails in my inbox.
12. I talked to Stan for the first time in more than six months about some practical arrangements last weekend, and he wants to talk again tomorrow morning. I can't decide whether I actually want to hear anything he has to say or am just allowing him to say it because it might make him feel better or because it makes me the Bigger Person or something. And I am not sure I give enough of a damn to try to figure it out.
13. I scared the bejeezus out of an unsuspecting undergrad who asked for advice on graduate school yesterday. I worked hard to be both honest and encouraging. But he still looked pretty dazed by the end of the conversation and said, "Uh, I think I'm a lot less prepared to apply than I thought I was."
14. The holiday cards I ordered many moons ago never arrived, so I'm giving up on them and making handmade stuff from construction paper and whatnot with TGB tomorrow afternoon. I probably will only be able to make about 20 of these before I fall asleep on the couch, so please forgive me if you'd normally expect a greeting from me this time of year, but don't get one. I promise I still love you.
15. I feel as though walking to the bus stop, transferring from one bus line to the other, and then walking home may require more physical exertion than I can handle.
16. I have made my bed exactly twice in three weeks.
17. My laundry pile is only about a foot shorter than I am.
18. Boy Roomie took me to a lovely Italian place I'd never been to last night, which was very nice of him.
19. I still don't know what I'm doing with the class I'm teaching next quarter, but many, many thanks to all of you who commented on the last post very much for your excellent suggestions. Presents all 'round! Please email me an address at so I can send you some material gratitude.
20. A lot of other stuff I am forgetting.

In sum, blogging is likely to be both infrequent and fuzzy-headed for a while. Please bear with me; I hope I'll be up to offering sharper, more pleasing wiseassery in the not-so-distant future.